We’ve probably posted a fair number of sexist labels. To help balance things out, here we have a bunch of feminist wine labels.

I’m Not Your Waitress is one in a series of wines made and bottled by Lac Belle Amie of Elizabethtown, North Carolina. Bitchin’ Babes is another.

And for the man who has everything, there is Sugar Mama red wine. This helpful website (“Cougars and Young Men Dating Club”) opens the door so you too can find a sugar momma (if it’s for real). (At this writing, sugarmommameet.com was unavailable, so the link shows a cached page.)

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Here we have an embarrassment of riches. We didn’t expect to see one beer label about the intricacies of the Internal Revenue Code — let alone two.

Tax Ale is a classic from way back in 1996 (hence the miserable photocopy). The fine print, below the big screw, says:

Warning:  This beer is not approved by the Internal Revenue Service. Brewed with compassion for Internal Revenue. … By the Special Audit and Brewing Company.

Ominously, BigHorn only lasted a few more years and got its last approval in 1999. Meanwhile, Lagunitas is still busy tweaking the government left and right. The top of the Correction Ale label seems to refer to section 401(k) of the Internal Revenue Code, and our dwindling retirement accounts. The text on the right side of the label says:

Who would ever [give] their money to a guy with a name like “Made-Off”? … If it was all too good to be true, it was. … OK, we all partied down and, YES, we took some liberties with some of our female guests. But now it’s the day after Mardi Gras when everyone kneels down and prays. Apparently it really is possible to have too much fun. But it is far better to have partied and lost than never to have partied at all. Gracefully surrender the things of 2008. Smoke a fag, drink a beer, and buy toothpaste… in that order. Live to party again.

It sure seems like Tony Magee (company founder) knows how to have a good time.

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More than six years in, many labels reflect the US at war. Above is Jim Beam “Operation Homefront” Bourbon. The idea is to “provid[e] physical and emotional support for military families in your community.” The label doesn’t really say how, but the website does.

Brave Spirits was early to link spirits with supporting the military. TTB approved their Valor Vodka back in 2007. Brave donates $2 per bottle toward the military. Valenzano Sangria is the only one that outright shows the American flag; TTB does not usually allow it, but this one is restricted for sale in New Jersey only. Valenzano donates $1 per bottle to “Operation Troop Aid.”

The Intoxicologist recently said this form of marketing is tacky. What do you think?

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A few weeks ago we wrote about Recession Red table wine. We were sort of hoping we would have no reason to revisit this woeful topic anytime soon. And yet the markets have continued to shrivel, and so, not surprisingly, a significant number of alcohol beverage companies have picked up on this theme.

Broke Ass Red Wine (above) is made in Argentina and imported by USDP of Minnesota. On the right, the Bailout Bitter Ale says:

A hoppy golden ale with recession fighting properties. … A bitter ale for bitter times.

We have trouble discerning a health claim in these words. And yet, the applicant felt compelled to state (at box 19):  “The brewery certifies that it is absolutely not making any representation on health benefits on this … product.”  An important clarification, we think — just in case the public might think the ale could cure athlete’s foot or the ailing world economy. Bailout Bitter is made in Canada and imported by KIAI of Atlanta.

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We like to think of the COLA database as a microcosm for the US economy. This got us wondering whether the economic meltdown has tamped down the number of labels submitted to and approved by TTB.

In blue, above, is the S&P 500 Index from late 2004 through February 23, 2009. It shows the meltdown, from roughly the beginning of 2008 through February 23, 2009; a drop of 712 points or about 48%.

In red are the number of TTB labels approved, during the December through January (2 month) period each year. We picked this 2-month time period because it best allows a comparison to the ugly last month of 2008 and first month of 2009. The red line shows no falloff in the number of labels approved each period, with 14,151 labels approved during the most recently completed two month period (and 11,041 approved during the comparable period from 12/1/2004-1/31/2005). It’s nice to see a graph that’s not headed south, and this should bode well for variety at the store, and many interesting labels to showcase here in the near future.

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TTB does not usually allow presidents to be shown on alcohol beverage labels, so we were suprised to see George Washington (above) and Thomas Jefferson emblazoned upon these beers. The normal rationale is that it could misleadingly imply that the president endorsed the product. Here, the porter neck label says “Crafted following General Washington’s original recipe.” We see very few Obama beers so far, and we wonder how many TTB should allow — if any. What presidential beers do you think the government should allow?

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Avery Brewing is more than ready for the new president. Way back in March, this Boulder, Colorado brewer got approval for Ale to the Chief!, a Presidential Ale. Blast Magazine says it’s selling well, and in 32 states. The script on the label says:

Ale to the Chief!
A Presidential Pale Ale to celebrate
Inauguration Day, January 20, 2009
We the Brewers of Avery Brewing Company, in order to form a more perfect ale, require new leadership that can liberate us from our quagmires in foreign lands; embrace environmentally sound energy alternatives to imported oil; heal our ailing health care system; free us from tyrannical debt and resurrect the collapsing dollar.
We hereby pledge to provide him or her with an ample amount of our Presidential Pale Ale to support in the struggle for the aforementioned goals!
Hail to the New Chief!
A brew worthy of the Oval Office!

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Remember when Nixon said “You won’t have Nixon to kick around any more”? Well, we bet Plata Wine Partners is bummed that Sarah Palin is not around at the moment. They jumped on the news and came out with half a dozen “Lipstick on a Pig” labels in September of 2008. They were so enthused about the prospects here, that they claimed trademark rights to this name. Plata certainly moved quickly; President-Elect Obama referred to lipstick on a pig (without pointing to or naming any person) on September 9, 2008, and Plata filed with TTB nine days later. Governor Sarah Palin may have opened the door to some of this ridicule with her famous or infamous joke about hockey moms and lipstick. But we hasten to note that Plata’s actual label does not make any direct visual or textual reference to Palin, and we further note that she looks better in lipstick than we do. The label does say:  “The origin of ‘Lipstick on a Pig’ is a mystery. But it has captivated the public’s attention like few other phrases in recent history.”

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Don’t we all need some of this, right now?

A few weeks ago we showed several Recession Red approvals. In another dismal sign of the times, the Recession-themed wines apparently hit a lot of nerves. Recession Red is selling well, and our Recession post got more traffic than any other topic to date, by five times or more.

The Recovery Red wine (above), is produced and bottled by Ross Valley Winery of San Anselmo, California.

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There are lots of Santa labels of late, but this one got our attention because it combines many relevant elements in one small place. First, it is elderberry wine, and that’s fairly unusual. Second, it’s made in South Dakota, and that’s not so common. And then there is Santa. We don’t remember seeing so very many Santa Claus labels in past years. This may be because a great many states prohibit references to Santa on alcohol beverage products. The Wine Institute still discourages it, at least in wine ads.

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