A few days ago I got a great email from Smuttynose. There is a lot to learn from it. Peter Egelston (CEO of this New Hampshire brewery) explained about his recent label approval for — Homunculus Ale:

In 2007, as part of our limited-release, draft-only Short Batch Series, we felt comfortable calling this beer “the Gnome,” a blatant reference to Belgium’s Brasserie d’Achouffe. (Dave, our Director of Brewing Operations explains it here.) When we discussed graduating the Gnome to wider distribution in bottles as part of our Big Beer Series, we felt it was important to be respectful of Brasserie d’Achouffe’s trademark, so we cast about for another name.

As you know, naming a beer, like naming a rock band, is harder than it appears, but everyone wants to take a whack at it. If I had a nickel for everyone who’s approached me at parties with “a great idea for a beer” over the last twenty-plus years, when all they’ve got is a name they think is clever (usually involving a pun), but really isn’t, I could probably buy a fancy dinner with a pricey bottle of wine to boot.

I suggested Homunculus, partly because it means “little man,” making it a distant synonym for “gnome,” but mostly because it’s an absurd-sounding word, the mere utterance of which is fun to do (one of my primary criteria for a successful product name). No one had the energy to argue with me, so Homunculus it was.

When we started to look at images to illustrate this name, we discovered another use for the term homunculus. In the early days of microscopy during the 17th century, when cells could be seen for the first time, the theory of “preformation” was posited. According to this theory, contained within each human spermatazoon was a perfectly formed, albeit tiny, human form — a homunculus. Having discovered this obscure fact, my partner Joanne Francis, who has designed all of our labels, ran with it, modifying an electron microscope image, turning our brewers into sperm cells, and the egg into a beer bottle.

Will anyone buy a beer called Homunculus? Who knows? People asked the same about Smuttynose years ago, and we’re still selling beer today.

If you pay close attention, you can learn a lot about life, death, art, science, religion, history and philosophy from the humblest beer label. And you can finally learn about the little man.

What’s the story with your label?

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Here is Caldera’s seasonal release. It is Vas Deferens Ale. The text explains that it has “a little snip of this and a little snip of that.” “This is an extremely rare release, as this ale is not meant to reproduce.”

For those who have been away from health class or Latin class for quite some time, Wikipedia tells us more about the vas deferens here. This ale is made by Caldera Brewing Company of Ashland, Oregon.

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I felt sure this statement was famous and handed down from the ages. But even the mighty Google has not been able to locate the origin of this statement. The Peasant is 15.3% red wine produced by Four Vines Winery of Paso Robles, California. The label says:  “Temperance, like chastity, is its own punishment.” Temperance and chastity are two of the seven virtues. For each of the virtues, there is a corresponding sin, totaling “seven deadly sins.” In the case of this label, temperance opposes gluttony and chastity opposes lust.

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Molson must be pretty darned excited about the prospects for the above marketing campaign. They seem to have hundreds of label approvals for variations on this theme. A lot of the “Answer Honestly” labels are quite amusing. Molson has a long way to go before passing Twisted Tea in the shocking hugeness of the number of labels submitted and approved.

This massive exercise tends to beg the question, why don’t they just submit a few labels, with a long list of approved permutations alongside. Perhaps TTB wants every one submitted separately but it’s still not clear why that should be the case, as opposed to the relatively common allowance for personalization (Happy Birthday Joe, Trudy, Eleanor, etc.).

Here are a few more good ones, among the hundreds. If you see good ones out in the market, please add them to the list by way of comments.

Answer Honestly, Would You Prefer….

• To be half your height -OR- Twice your weight?
• To be famous and hated -OR- Normal and respected?
• To have the ability to play every musical instrument -OR- Speak every language?
• To be able to change the past -OR- See the future?
• To be stuck in a meeting -OR- Stuck in traffic?
• To be ten minutes late for everything -OR- An hour early for everything?
• To lose a winning lottery ticket -OR- Your hair?
• To watch all TV in black and white -OR- Listen to all music in AM?
• To have a time machine -OR- A money-making machine?
• To be a corrupt mayor -OR- An honest lawyer?
• To hypnotize with your eyes -OR- Your touch?
• To be stuck on a deserted island with a supermodel -OR- A boat builder?
• To be rich -OR- Good looking?
• To have your dream house in the Arctic -OR- Be homeless living on a beach?
• To date someone who talks too much -OR- One who rarely speaks?
• To have a constant toothache -OR- No teeth at all?

Sign me up for writing the next 500 questions (especially if it comes with free beer, a year on a tropical island, and a fat budget).

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Last month, we highlighted three beers with alcohol contents above 18%. For the most part, these beers created little controversy, despite stuffing a six-pack’s worth of alcohol into a single bottle. Enter Scotland’s BrewDog, a craft brewer that drew the ire of industry watchdogs in the United Kingdom with their Tokyo* oak aged stout. Alcohol Focus Scotland called the 18.2% alc./vol. beer “irresponsible,” and a member of the Scottish Parliament even submitted a motion condemning the brewery. BrewDog responded to these UK critics with Nanny State, a 1.1% alc./vol. “mild imperial ale.” The label has this to say:

At BrewDog we appreciate your inability to know your limits – especially when it comes to alcohol – which is why we’ve created Nanny State.

This idiosyncratic little beer is a gentle smack in the right direction.

Please note: BrewDog recommends that you only drink this beer whilst wearing the necessary personal protective equipment and in a premises that has passed a full health and safety risk assessment for optimum enjoyment.

The name, absurdly low alcohol content and label combine to create a witty riff on alcohol beverage policy. And it may well be a great public relations move for a small brewer — taking a well-publicized swipe at critics with a marketable product, rather than words alone.

Although the fight over Tokyo* in the UK appears to have cooled down, the product faced resistance in the US, but for a different reason altogether. BrewDog has previously explained (on their blog, post no longer accessible) that TTB viewed the brand name as potentially misleading as to origin. And so Tokyo* became Tokio*, but without any fuss over the alcohol content.

No word yet on whether Nanny State will make it to the US, or if Miller and Anheuser-Busch will suit up for the “weakness wars” and go lower, to 0.9% or so.

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This is post number three in a series of three, about Sorelli’s amusing wine labels, showing women in various states of dismay and under-appreciation. Click below for the full label:

• tell me again why do I need a man?
• if you want breakfast in bed
• so much to do
• because I am the mother

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Here are three more Sorelli labels. This time, the lady is getting annoyed. A few days ago we showed the first four Sorelli labels in this series, and in the next post we will finish up with a few more. Click below for the full label:

• make your own damn dinner
• he had not yet known true torment
• ran into my ex

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• let the games begin
• domestically disabled
• whisper my favorite words
• I can’t be good all the time

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This is a series of about six labels, honoring The Wing Man. About.com defines the species as: “A male who will assist in the courtship or flirtation of another, usually by deflecting or otherwise befriending those in the company of the intended.”

This label, from Skyscraper Brewing of El Monte, California, has some good lines. But Skyscraper was fairly late to the party, getting their first approval in 2008. Coors jumped on this social behavior as far back as 2003, with this TV ad celebrating The (mighty) Wing Man. Before that, the term became popularized from the 1986 movie Top Gun and the 1996 movie Swingers.

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