Right there on the label of this beer, almost every part of it, Austin Beerworks makes it clear that you should proceed with maximum caution. You should not even think about consuming this beer with KFC, while wearing lederhosen, or while operating heavy machinery of any sort.
The label is not new, but it is a tad out of the ordinary. It pokes gentle fun at the oh so serious Government Warning Statement, mandated by Congress since the 1988 Alcoholic Beverage Labeling Act. In the early years, after this Warning became required on most every beer, wine and spirits label in the U.S., it would have been essentially unthinkable, to allow any fun-poking, aimed in this general direction. To wit, one of the Government’s biggest objections to the Black Death Vodka labeling and packaging, was that it tended to mock the — oh so serious Warning. This label shows that a lot of beer has flowed under the bridge since then, and there has been a general chilling out.
It probably also helps, that the real Warning does appear at least twice, and with good, solid prominence and contrast. But, that base having been covered, Austin revs up for a snarknado. I can’t list all the snarky comments and warnings, because there are so many. But some of my personal favorites are that this beer should not be paired with:
- Eyebrow tweezing
- Edible underwear (or other underwear, such as bras)
- Putting baby in a corner
The full brand is Austin Beerworks Heavy Machinery IPA, and the approval is here. Apart from the modest legal issue noted above, I hasten to add that I have a small, personal connection to this label. Christian Helms is the man behind this label and many other high-end alcohol beverage labels. I went to see him once, in Austin, to try to get help on a big legal and design project. As he sat behind his big screen, with lots of Texas light streaming in, he was willing to talk — but he was not willing to take on the project. At any cost. In 30 years since law school, I have rarely seen a professional who won’t consider any given project, if the fee gets high enough. He was not interested, at any price. One part of me is disappointed, and the other part gives him credit for his decisiveness (not to mention his good sense when it comes to mixing beer and bro-tazing).
Please let me know if you see any other funny, or unusual warnings out there.
When was the last time you tried TTB’s Formulas Online (FONL) system? It continues to change every few months, since its inception a few years ago. When I went to use it earlier this week I was struck by how much information TTB is loading into the system.
As an example, let’s take a look at what FONL has to say about colors (food and beverage colors such as FD& Red #40). First you log in and get your home screen (as above).
Then you click along and go to enter some ingredients. Near this area, there is a handy definition of what is a “color” (in this context). It’s not always an easy question. Ok bigshot, is saffron a color? What about grape juice? The help points out that the predominant reason for the addition is the key, when the ingredient has more than one function (such as color and flavor).
Once we verify we are in fact talking about a color, you would proceed as here.
Once you click “Color,” it very helpfully pulls up a list of the most common and allowable colors, along with alternative names such as Red 40/E 129. This list goes on to cover fruit juice, grape skin extract/enocianina/E 163, mica, oak, paprika, riboflavin, saffron, titanium dioxide, tomato, turmeric, and vegetable juice.
Then there is more help, off to the right, with more links.
There is a lot of information and it can be a bit daunting at first, but once you get used to it, the extra information is quite helpful. Last but not least, many thanks and good wishes for Roberta Sanders, who retires from TTB (before Pres. Trump takes over) — after thousands of people helped, and tens of thousands of formulas approved.
The latest issue of Beverage Master just came in last week. It is the October-November issue and has a fine article about Moonshine University, if I may say so myself. A small excerpt is below, and you can find the entire article, and indeed the whole issue, here.
There is a lot of talk about Moonshine University, launched in early 2013. As this Louisville, Kentucky training center moves toward year five of educating new distillers, I contacted some of the principals, to see how it’s going. The questions are from me, and most of the answers are from Christin Head, Registrar at Moonshine University.
1. What is Moonshine University?
Moonshine University is an artisan distillery and education center located in downtown Louisville, Kentucky. Our distillery is adjacent to our state-of-the-art classroom and is set up for small runs and hands-on distilling training. We offer technical training and business management education for start-ups, industry professionals, and those looking for careers in the distilling industry. Our courses are designed and taught by distillery operators, industry insiders, and world-renowned master distillers.
2. When did it start and how many classes so far?
Moonshine University opened in January 2013. We have just completed our thirteenth session of our flagship course, the 5-Day Distiller Course. All in all, we have held 67 classes at Moonshine University, with an additional 19 classes currently open for registration.
3. How many graduates?
Since 2013 we are happy to say we have had over 1200 students cross our threshold. We have over 600 attendees in our professional level classes, which includes the 5-Day Distiller Course.
If you are not already getting this bi-monthly craft spirits and brew magazine, it is easy to subscribe, here.
With only two days to go until the second Presidential Debate, Trump and Clinton are clearly on everyone’s mind. Including the beer and wine companies shown above.
The Trump-inspired Blonde Ale label is from 5 Rabbit Cerveceria of Bedford Park, Illinois. It leaves no doubt they are not Trump fans. It says: “STOP THE HATE,” “CHINGA TU PELO” (look it up), “We decided to take a stand against racism,” “BULLIES AREN’T LEADERS.” Frank would love to have a can of this in time for the big event.
The Clinton-inspired Chardonnay label is from Scotto Family Cellars of Lodi, California. They have a couple types, and six approvals. We did not find any Trump-related labels at this company. Perhaps it would infringe on this.
Both seem to be real products and TTB apparently approves of both messages.