Posts Tagged ‘writing/witty/funny’
Vas Deferens Ale
Here is Caldera’s seasonal release. It is Vas Deferens Ale. The text explains that it has “a little snip of this and a little snip of that.” “This is an extremely rare release, as this ale is not meant to reproduce.”
For those who have been away from health class or Latin class for quite some time, Wikipedia tells us more about the vas deferens here. This ale is made by Caldera Brewing Company of Ashland, Oregon.
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speaks for itself, writing/witty/funny
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Temperance Like Chastity
I felt sure this statement was famous and handed down from the ages. But even the mighty Google has not been able to locate the origin of this statement. The Peasant is 15.3% red wine produced by Four Vines Winery of Paso Robles, California. The label says: “Temperance, like chastity, is its own punishment.” Temperance and chastity are two of the seven virtues. For each of the virtues, there is a corresponding sin, totaling “seven deadly sins.” In the case of this label, temperance opposes gluttony and chastity opposes lust.
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sin, speaks for itself, writing/witty/funny
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Adequate Gift Wine
Just in time for the holiday season, shower the ones you love with nothing less than … an “Adequate Gift.” This is from Woot Cellars. We especially like the functional back label, giving you the chance to tell your (significant other) about all the (mediocre) times you’ve shared. For other “functional” containers, see Functional Packages, Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4.
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Answer Honestly: Would You Prefer Funny Molson Labels?
Molson must be pretty darned excited about the prospects for the above marketing campaign. They seem to have hundreds of label approvals for variations on this theme. A lot of the “Answer Honestly” labels are quite amusing. Molson has a long way to go before passing Twisted Tea in the shocking hugeness of the number of labels submitted and approved.
This massive exercise tends to beg the question, why don’t they just submit a few labels, with a long list of approved permutations alongside. Perhaps TTB wants every one submitted separately but it’s still not clear why that should be the case, as opposed to the relatively common allowance for personalization (Happy Birthday Joe, Trudy, Eleanor, etc.).
Here are a few more good ones, among the hundreds. If you see good ones out in the market, please add them to the list by way of comments.
Answer Honestly, Would You Prefer….
- To be half your height -OR- Twice your weight?
- To be famous and hated -OR- Normal and respected?
- To have the ability to play every musical instrument -OR- Speak every language?
- To be able to change the past -OR- See the future?
- To be stuck in a meeting -OR- Stuck in traffic?
- To be ten minutes late for everything -OR- An hour early for everything?
- To lose a winning lottery ticket -OR- Your hair?
- To watch all TV in black and white -OR- Listen to all music in AM?
- To have a time machine -OR- A money-making machine?
- To be a corrupt mayor -OR- An honest lawyer?
- To hypnotize with your eyes -OR- Your touch?
- To be stuck on a deserted island with a supermodel -OR- A boat builder?
- To be rich -OR- Good looking?
- To have your dream house in the Arctic -OR- Be homeless living on a beach?
- To date someone who talks too much -OR- One who rarely speaks?
- To have a constant toothache -OR- No teeth at all?
Sign me up for writing the next 500 questions (especially if it comes with free beer, a year on a tropical island, and a fat budget).
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Nanny State Beer
Last month, we highlighted three beers with alcohol contents above 18%. For the most part, these beers created little controversy, despite stuffing a six-pack’s worth of alcohol into a single bottle. Enter Scotland’s BrewDog, a craft brewer that drew the ire of industry watchdogs in the United Kingdom with their Tokyo* oak aged stout. Alcohol Focus Scotland called the 18.2% alc./vol. beer “irresponsible,” and a member of the Scottish Parliament even submitted a motion condemning the brewery. BrewDog responded to these UK critics with Nanny State, a 1.1% alc./vol. “mild imperial ale.” The label has this to say:
At BrewDog we appreciate your inability to know your limits – especially when it comes to alcohol – which is why we’ve created Nanny State.
This idiosyncratic little beer is a gentle smack in the right direction.
Please note: BrewDog recommends that you only drink this beer whilst wearing the necessary personal protective equipment and in a premises that has passed a full health and safety risk assessment for optimum enjoyment.
The name, absurdly low alcohol content and label combine to create a witty riff on alcohol beverage policy. And it may well be a great public relations move for a small brewer — taking a well-publicized swipe at critics with a marketable product, rather than words alone.
Although the fight over Tokyo* in the UK appears to have cooled down, the product faced resistance in the US, but for a different reason altogether. BrewDog has previously explained (on their blog, post no longer accessible) that TTB viewed the brand name as potentially misleading as to origin. And so Tokyo* became Tokio*, but without any fuss over the alcohol content.
No word yet on whether Nanny State will make it to the US, or if Miller and Anheuser-Busch will suit up for the “weakness wars” and go lower, to 0.9% or so.
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legally interesting/controversial, media buzz, policy, writing/witty/funny
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